We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, deluded, and other liberal Bed-wetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a...
Bill Of *NO* Rights
ARTICLE I:
You do *NOT* have the right
to a new car, big screen TV
or any other form of wealth.
More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE III:
You do *NOT* have the right
to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom
for everyone ~ not just you! You may leave the room, turn the
channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is
full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do *NOT* have the right
to be free from harm.
If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more
careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you
and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE III:
You do *NOT* have the right
to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found,
and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation
of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE III:
You do *NOT* have the right
to free health care.
That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing,
we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE III:
You do *NOT* have the right
to harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill some one,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see
you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE III:
You do *NOT* have the right
to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of
other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together
and lock you away in a place where you STILL won't
have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE III:
*NOT* have the right
You do
to demand that our children
risk their lives in foreign wars
to soothe your aching conscience
We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger
to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we
do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want
to spend so much of our time battling each and every little
tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE III:
*NOT* have the right
You do
to a job.
All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly
help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE III:
*NOT* have the right
You do
to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to *pursue*
happiness ~ which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are
unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were
confused by the Bill of Rights.
~ author unknown ~ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country.
We don't care where you are from, English is our language.
Learn English, or go back to wherever you came from!
ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to change
our country's history or heritage.
The United States of America was founded on the belief in one true God. However, our people have fought and died to give you the constitutional freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all, with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, go back to wherever you came from!
not taken away.
